Beautiful


Parts of her were so broken that they would never heal. And she wore these broken parts on the outside for all to see. Not like a badge of honor. Or a cry for help. But like an armor. A declaration that she couldn’t be hurt anymore. But she could be.

Her heart was as soft as the flesh that hung from her hips and thighs, that pressed tight against the threads of her pants and rolled over the waistband. She hated that flesh. And she hated that she hated it, so she put it on display. Her confidence was just one of the lies she told. And everyone believed it.

They told her she was beautiful, and they meant it. But she never believed it, never knew that her beauty came from those broken parts and that soft heart, never knew that even if she was caught in the lie, they would still love her. Love her more.

She wrote songs that brought people to tears, and though she didn’t believe her own words, she sang them with a passion so honest that the truth they disguised could be felt in one’s bones. And gut. And heart.

She doesn’t sing anymore. But she still writes songs. She tattoos the lyrics in dark ink down her arms and across her back. She has found other ways to diminish the pain, but these, too, leave scars on her body and on her heart.

She is still beautiful.

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 3, 2019 at 1:45 PM

    Woah!! Your words are so beautiful and true. The armor and the false confidence. Ive seen that truth in myself and others. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa KeelerMarch 3, 2019 at 1:52 PM

    This is a really powerful piece of writing. Your words leave me aching and full of questions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kim A.March 3, 2019 at 2:01 PM

    First, I love the imagery you have captured. It's lovely...so quiet and still and haunting....Second, I love your combination of sentence structure...long sentences coupled with short sentences. I kept reading it over and over to get a better sense, but I also kept rereading it because it was so fun to read. Last, I love the repetition of "she." So well done. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. amyilene https://amyilene.home.blog/March 3, 2019 at 2:32 PM

    Beautiful writing...truly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JulietteMarch 3, 2019 at 3:09 PM

    This writing is mesmerizing. I could read it over and over again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Deb FrazierMarch 3, 2019 at 3:59 PM

    So often faux confidence is misread as rude or even worse when an astute eye can see the pain hiding behind the costumes and labels. How can we help not only one hiding but those who can lift them to who are understand the cries and the path to healing?

    ReplyDelete
  7. tenkoranmaahMarch 4, 2019 at 12:35 AM

    Captivating!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DanielleMarch 4, 2019 at 2:07 AM

    Wow, this piece was so hauntingly beautiful. I love the honesty, too - my favorite line: "Her confidence was just one of the lies she told. And everyone believed it." Lovely!

    ReplyDelete

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