to Wild Places

The wilderness healed me. Twisted me. Set me free.

I was a particular child. 

I tapped fingers to thumb with each step. Pointer. Middle. Ring. Pinky. One. Two. Three. Four. I shortened my steps as I neared the destination, a little shuffle in my walk to ensure that I crossed the threshold on a multiple of four. 

I found items that fit together harmoniously. The placemat whose width was exactly two inches more than one of the wooden planks that made our dining room table. The cup that shared a circumference with the knot in the wood grain that was 2 inches above the edge of the placemat, when centered over the plank, extending one inch on each side. Everything had a rightful place, and my duty ensured each item ended where it belonged.

Until I found the wilderness. Until I slept directly on the earth. Until I walked for days with all I needed strapped to my back. Until I dug holes. Squatted in a forest. Bathed in a stream. 

Until I absorbed the beauty of that chaos around me. The trails created and worn by herds of deer, tacking haphazardly on the incline, always led me to the mountain top. The tree roots rising and falling beneath the forest floor, never the same width, never at right angles, held those towers to the earth, gave home to the critters who scurried without counting a step, shaded my face from the harsh sun, turned instead to dappled light, beautiful because of its scattered, patchy texture.

This disarray. This orderlessness. This wildness. This wilderness. This beauty. Set me free.

Comments

  1. Pat HollowayMarch 6, 2023 at 5:20 PM

    Beautifully written, I feel the same way about the wilderness and love the words you used to describe the relationship. Have you read the writings of Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac? He writes questionning our relationship with the natural world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AlexMarch 6, 2023 at 8:43 PM

      I'm off to see if it is available at my library now. Thanks for the recommendation.

      Delete
  2. Natalie Dunne March 6, 2023 at 9:16 PM

    Beautifully written!

    ReplyDelete
  3. JulietteMarch 7, 2023 at 1:23 AM

    The details here are extraordinary. You move from seeking perfection to accepting what nature has. Here's another great sentence, "Until I absorbed the beauty of that chaos around me."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hannah GallowayMarch 7, 2023 at 3:44 AM

    This is such a powerful post! I really feel like I’m learning about a special part of you. Thank you! I love nature too - if I could work outside and just be with the animals, I would be so blissful.

    ReplyDelete
  5. GirlGriotMarch 7, 2023 at 5:04 AM

    I love this. And it made me think about my trip to Alaska last year and how utterly moved, grounded, freed, whole ... alive I felt while there.

    ReplyDelete

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